A work in progress:  Things Marty believes to be true about life . . .

•  I am a bit of a 1962 Plymouth, in that everything works, but it squeals, skips, shimmies, rattles, coughs, stutters, veers this way and that, neither starts easily nor turns off without dieseling, wobbles, leaks its fluids, fades, has cracks, dents, pits, spots, clogs easily, both emits exhaust and admits exhaustion, is definitely an old model which even in its prime was of questionable coolness . . . and . . . it will last forEVER . . . such is my life as a 1962 Plymouth . . . no smooth roads ahead for me, and I will get there with neither style nor grace . . . BUT . . . I will get there.

• Become a good student of my valued friend, Len Leritz. Read his book, No-Fault Negotiating. Use the pearls he has discovered in his practice as a therapist and organizational consultant. Below are a few for you to consider, and here is a list of 43 pearls Len was kind enough to share with me:  http://www.goingeasy.com/pearls.pdf

     Learn and use his levels of development: Enforcer, Scorekeeper, Peacemaker, Rebel-
     Producer and Generator.

     Create a safe environment.

     Attend to the obvious; this is the essence of critical thinking.

     People do what makes sense to them to do. If they frustrate you, it is mostly an
     invitation to know them better historically and an invitation to somehow make
     what you need make sense for them to do.

     People are not evil or against you. They are likely just doing what seems best to them.

     We make the choice to understand or to be right every moment. We consciously or
     unconsciously choose one or the other, not both simultaneously. At any given moment,
     we are either trying to be right or trying to understand, and which we choose
     cultivates vastly different outcomes.

     Two ways to think about being right versus understanding: You can be right or you
     can be resolved; take your pick. You can choose to make a point, or you can choose
     to make a difference.

     Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to simply not allow another to punish
     you or to victimize you.

     Our scarcity and abundance assumptions about life largely determine our outcomes.
     When we understand our deep-seated assumptions, we set the stage for lasting
     and meaningful personal growth.

     What did you most need that you did not get as a child? The answer to that
     question likely is at the heart of your adult life's design.

     Compassionate curiosity about others is always a good place to begin,
     provided your motivation is honorable and not intended to manipulate or win.

• Do the right thing for the right reason with love.

• Baby steps are giant steps, given the consistency of taking them.

• What we focus on determines what we are sure to miss.

• Whatever the conditions we are currently experiencing may be, our default setting is to project those conditions into the future. For example, if we are prospering in the present moment, we will expect the future to be prosperous, too. Similarly, if we are suffering in the present moment, we will expect the future to be difficult. The truth, of course, is that nothing ever stays the same. Projecting our experience in this moment to future times is nearly certain to be wrong. So, try to always expect things to change, and by doing so you will find the changes sure to be coming to be less stressful and disrupting.

• The best fights in which we engage are often not our fights at all; we simply find ourselves in the fight because it is the right thing to do.

• In a lull in conversation with people, consider asking what they wished their teachers knew about them but never knew.

• When you see someone earnestly struggling, try asking this: "I notice you seem to be uncomfortable doing what you are doing, and I am curious to explore that with you."

• When feeling stuck, always get on the same side of the table with your problem or adversary. Arrange data as cards on the table, honestly assessing and accurately understanding each one. Usually a solution or resolution emerges effortlessly.

• There is at least one pearl --and often two-- in every unsolicited shovel-load of shit tossed at you. One is your recovery from the shit-tossing event. The other pearl is what you do for the universe as a result.

• Every child is born in a state of absolute perfection. Then the world takes away realization of or permission to accept that perfection. One of our fundamental tasks on earth is to rediscover and embrace the perfection which was in us all along.

• Find themes which have produced joy for you historically. Define them in their essence and then see how the themes in your life have interacted and resulted, positively and negatively. Live in constant scan mode for opportunities to cultivate those positive themes and to avoid those negative themes.

• Always seek excellence in everything you do. Always seek excellence in everything you are.

• How I feel about the abundance in my life: Grace greater than my capacity to imagine it

• If you find yourself in a personal or professional relationship which causes you to feel repeating discomfort at an increasingly clear sense of your being in the wrong place, there is an analogy which may motivate you to act on that sense. Imagine you are riding in a bus traveling northeast. Down deep you sense that you really do need to be traveling southwest, not northeast. Two things are true about this realization. First, the longer you sit in that bus seat traveling northeast, the further you are going out of your way. Second, the longer you sit in that bus seat traveling in the wrong direction, you are taking the seat of the person who really needs to be traveling northeast and cannot do so because you are in his or her seat.

• Always look for the love in every situation.

• Become what you want to attract. (Thank you, Beth.)

• This is what I hope to do for you, my friend: Lovingly help you restore wheels to your cart and hope to your heart

• Always try to change the mix and context in every situation, moving them toward love and understanding.

• Do everything. Do everything right. Do everything right all the time. Doing everything right all the time will ultimately guarantee your success, both personal and professional.

• When some person, situation or cause speaks to you, act on your feelings. Act now.

• Always take the time to listen and to be available. How well you listen and make yourself caringly available contribute greatly to creating generative outcomes both for you and for those whom you love.

• Pray. Love. Laugh. Learn. Live. Go Easy. Be groovy.

• Love is the best and perhaps only meaningful revenge.

• Part of my daily prayers: May I not diminish anyone I encounter in my path today. By the way, I have never accomplished this fully, far too often allowing traffic situations and humor-sarcasm to get the best of me.

• Lead the way in conversation and action with obvious and truthful humility and chosen vulnerability.

• The more you describe something, the more you diminish it.

• In any form of art, no element should be included unless it contributes something essential. White space is art, and often it is the most brilliant color on your palette.

• Learn your chosen craft so you can forget it. Then concentrate on your craft for the simple joy of doing so and watch what happens!  

• Consistency creates value. Staying with an endeavor, whether personal or professional, cultivates excellence and profits. The trick is to be both consistent and in scan mode enough to enjoy the profits from the one and yet to not dismiss the opportunities from the other.

• People are entitled to feel as they feel. We can argue about everything else, but we must agree on this point. Doing so often changes the conversation from one of needing to be right to one of needing to understand.

• Understanding one another in all our lame-ass-moron beauty cultivates solutions. Endeavoring to be right often cultivates black-white/right-wrong/win-lose/yours-mine results rather than just and lasting solutions and agreements.

• The quality of our mercy, compassion and forgiveness determines the quality of our lives.

• There is scarce distinction between loving and understanding.

• Happiness simply occurs in the honest and active engagement of appropriate challenges.

• The definition of someone who is rich is someone having even one penny more than you have.

• The definition of something which is clean is that you have cleaned it yourself.

• History teaches us that significant countries (could be empires or civilizations, but in any case organized political-cultural entities within a defined geographical area) thrive only when two elements are present and functioning well: resources, both financial and human, and technology. The term financial resources here means that the country must produce more genuine wealth than it consumes. The term human resources here means that there must be enough ready, willing, able and committed hands available to defend the territory the country needs to sustain itself. The country must also continuously be at least on par technologically with its rivals. In the absence of these elements being consistently present, no country has long survived and been relevant. Inferiority in terms of resources and technology will ultimately and certainly spell the end of America, too. I fear most the consistent and increasing decline in the number of Americans producing more genuine wealth than they consume, a condition certain to result in our downfall.

• Read Thucydides, a Greek historian who accurately described four centuries before Christ the unavoidable tension and peril present between rising and ruling nations (or city-states in his time), and beware, particularly in relation to increasing interaction/tension between China and America.

• Always remember that with all your limitations, problems and inadequacies, you are living a life of extraordinary abundance and privilege. The world is generally populated with those who are immensely more greatly challenged than you. Therefore, be humble and be grateful. Now, go do something/s amazing.